Lord Farquaad’s Height-Enhancing Boots: Fashion or Fraud?

By The Three Blind Mice – Investigative Reporting Team - Squeaky Leaks

We squeaked our way into the cobbler’s corner and what we found was taller than tall. The Lord of Duloc’s legs may not be as long as his shadow. Anonymous cobblers whispered to us between hammer blows and scraps of leather that his famous boots are not boots at all but stilts with flair.

The sketches we smuggled out show scaffolding hidden under the leather. Black hide polished to a mirror with golden trim to distract the eye while the truth is wood beams and nails. One even shows a pulley system so the Lord can get down without tumbling headfirst into the moat. Easy dismounting they called it. We call it suspicious.

How much of Farquaad’s height is leather and how much is leg? His spokespeople insist he is every inch the ruler Duloc deserves. We will not argue that; leadership isn’t defined by height. But the citizens have a right to know just how many of those inches belong to the boots, and just how much of their Lord’s stature is truth.

If this is fashion, then it is fashion that hides a fraud. If this is fraud, then it is a fraud that rules from the top step of a ladder. Either way it squeaks of secrets and that is why we are here.

Squeaky Leaks will not rest until every cobbled inch is measured