Gingy Vanishes: The Cookie Crumbles in Duloc
By The Three Blind Mice, Investigative Reporters — Squeaky Leaks
The sweet scent of scandal is wafting through Duloc. Gingy, everyone’s favorite gumdrop-buttoned confection, has mysteriously disappeared — and sources whisper that this isn’t just a case of runaway crumbs.
According to eyewitnesses, Gingy was last seen late Tuesday evening in the parking lot of YeOlde ValueMarts (Duloc’s discount superstore for enchanted groceries and bargain cauldrons). Security crystal-ball footage reportedly shows him being surrounded by shadowy figures wearing the unmistakable insignia of DICE, Duloc Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
The footage cuts off just as the gumdrop-buttoned hero was heard shouting, “Not my frosting!” before being whisked away in what locals describe as a suspiciously unmarked pumpkin carriage.
A Farquaad Connection?
The disappearance has ignited rumors across the kingdom that this was no ordinary enforcement action, but a targeted strike linked to Lord Farquaad’s controversial Fairy Tale Creature Deportation Program. The program, widely criticized for its treatment of talking donkeys, big bad wolves, and squatters living in giant shoes, has already sparked protests outside Duloc Castle.
While officials deny Farquaad’s involvement, one insider (who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being turned into a garden gnome) claims the order “came straight from the top.”
Crumbs of Evidence
Last Meal: Gingy had just purchased a family-sized jug of milk and a bag of gumdrop replacements. Both were found abandoned in the cart.
Witness Statements: One shopper described seeing “two DICE agents trying not to lick their fingers” during the arrest.
Government Silence: When pressed for answers, Duloc spokespeople issued a one-line statement: “Run, run, as fast as you can… you can’t catch the truth, Gingerbread Man.”
The People React
Gingy’s sudden disappearance has left the fairy tale community shaken. “If they can take Gingy, they can take any of us,” said Pinocchio at a candlelight vigil, his nose growing suspiciously long when he claimed he was “totally fine.” The Muffin Man, known for his close ties to Gingy, has reportedly gone into hiding on Drury Lane.
Meanwhile, grassroots groups are organizing bake-sales-turned-protests, demanding Gingy’s release. Signs reading “Cookies Are People Too” and “Free the Frosting Five” have been spotted in the streets.
The Official Denial
When confronted, a DICE official insisted Gingy was not “kidnapped” but “relocated to a more suitable shelf.” Asked to elaborate, the official refused, citing “national pie-curity concerns.”
The Squeaky Verdict
Though we, the Three Blind Mice, may not see it all, we smell a cover-up. Gingy’s disappearance fits a disturbing pattern of Lord Farquaad’s crumb-by-crumb campaign against fairy tale citizens. Until the cookie trail leads us to the truth, one question remains:
Where is Gingy?
Stay tuned, Duloc. The truth is out there — and it’s not sugar-coated.
