Official Statement from the Captain of the Royal Guard of Duloc

Issued by Order of His Lordship, Lord Farquaad

Citizens of Duloc,

Be it known throughout the realm that the Royal Guard is presently seeking information leading to the capture of a talking Donkey, a most unusual and troublesome beast, who has flagrantly evaded lawful custody. This Donkey is charged with obstructing the noble execution of Lord Farquaad’s Fairy Tale Creature Relocation Initiative, an operation designed to preserve the peace, beauty, and uniform order of our fair kingdom.

The suspect, described as gray in color, possessing unusually large ears, a quick wit, and an even quicker tongue, was last seen in the company of various undesirable magical entities. The creature is known to speak fluently, make jokes at the expense of authority, and has a troubling habit of breaking into song at inappropriate moments.

The Donkey was observed fleeing the confines of the Duloc Marsh Border Inspection Station after confusing several guards with nonsensical chatter and references to “waffles.” All citizens are urged not to engage the suspect, as it has been known to charm even the most disciplined soldiers into laughter, an act of grave misconduct under Duloc Ordinance 14B, “Unauthorized Merriment.”

Those with credible information regarding this fugitive’s whereabouts should report immediately to the nearest Guard outpost. A substantial reward shall be granted for assistance leading to his safe capture and delivery to the Duloc Detention Tower.