Ve Fix Ze Towers! A Day at Dragon’s Keep

By Ze Drei Liddle Pigs – Special Construction Correspondents for Squeaky Leaks

Ach du lieber, vot a day it vas in Duloc! Ve vake up nice and early, ready for our morning mud bath, ven suddenly, BOOM! a royal decree comes flying down from Lord Farquaad himself. Ze towers of Dragon’s Keep, zey must be repaired immediately! Zey must shine! Zey must sparkle! Zey must make ze Lord look taller!

So off ve go to ze big fancy theatre, ya? And dere he is, Jared! A real mensch of a builder, let me tell you. Strong hands, good posture, safety goggles like a pro. He’s cutting steel like it’s gingerbread dough. Sparks are flying everywhere! Zing! Zang! Zzzzap! It’s like ze Fourth of Fairyland fireworks in dere!

“Mein Gott,” says Brix, “zat’s some serious craftsmanship!”
“Ja,” says Styx, “if ze Big Bad Volf saw zis, he vould run home to his mama!”

Lord Farquaad vas shouting from his balcony, “Make it shine! Make it glorious!”, like some sort of opera singer in shiny boots. Ve pigs just shake our heads. Ve know how zis goes. Ve’ve seen management before.

But Jared, he doesn’t even blink. Nein! He keeps cutting, keeps welding, keeps making zat steel beam behave like a good little sausage link. Sparks everywhere! Ze smell of metal and sweat fills ze air. It vas beautiful, in a very noisy, flammable kind of vay.

By ze end of ze day, oh-ho-ho, ze columns of Dragon’s Keep vere standing tall and proud, straighter than Farquaad’s haircut. Ze light hit ze metal, and ve all just stared. Even Farquaad stopped talking for a whole five seconds, ve clocked it!

Ve told Jared, “Mein freund, you build like a pig, strong, steady, und impossible to blow down!” He just smiled, gave a little nod, and packed up his tools like a true professional.

Now Duloc’s towers shine brighter than ever, und ve pigs? Ve’re heading home for schnitzel und cider. Because ve may not build for Farquaad, but ve sure know good construction ven ve see it!